Should i listen to my heart and try to make myself noticed by her.... or do i just listen to my head when it says i don't have a chance with her.

"Her"

The thought of her has kept me up. thinking about how gorgeous she is and how goofy her personality is. how shes been hurt in the past and how far she has come. i cant promise her that everything will be okay but i can promise her that she will never have to face it alone. only if she knew who I was...... i'd do my best to make her happy and prove to her not all guys are the same.

You only know your high when you've felt low.

All Of You

All the things you do.

The way you make me feel

The way you make me smile 

The butterflies you give me 

The way you make my heart beat

You give me a rhythm 

You make me feel right in every way

All I think about, is you 

You make my life wonderful 

You fill it with colors 

You fill it with joy 

I think I’m quite bonkers for you

Yea it’s true

Oh what can I do 

All I want is to be with you.

"Dream Day"

My "dream day" with a girl that I like would have to be a nice cold windy winter day --at either of our houses living room bedroom with her parents, siblings, alone... it honestly don't matter just as long as i'm with her-- cuddling with hot tea, coffee, chocolate watching the original star wars or Disney movies.

Blog #2

So today I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing and playing the laugh of the joker. without looking at the contact ID or even opening my eyes, I rummage for my phone and quickly answer and place the phone to my ear, answering with a grunt i quickly realize the person on the other line sniffling... like she was crying or woke up ill. I quickly sat up and asked if they were okay. not knowing what the reason for sniffling was for she responds with a raspy and congested voice as if she was crying for hours before. all I could make out was "please" and a few words later "help". we talking things out and I was successful helping her. but when the phone call was over I realize what an asshole us guys can be, and how this makes other guys seem. Don't get me wrong i know guys are rude, neglectful to be honest the list is never-ending... but the thing i hate most is when people just assume that all guys are like that... sure everyone has there days where one word turns you but honestly not all guys will be like that. the girl on the phone was telling me how her boyfriend was being a ass and all these other fun words... she was telling me how he was on his phone half of the time when they were supposed to be having their cuddle day listening as the rain pounds on the roof and watching as the rain races each other down the windowsill. I thought to myself... if that was me I would take advantage of that moment.. not many people get the chance at stuff like that.. cuddling when it rains. often I think well wish I had someone to cuddle with. I want someone to kiss in the rain someone who wont make fun of me for liking movies like the notebook or someone to marathon doctor who with even thought we've seen it an endless amount of times. someone to look at and blush when she looks back. someone who even after seeing each other and hanging out with each other a million times, the sight of her still gives me butterflies. someone who I can love, argue with, trust, talk to, care for, and spend endless hours with each other during the summer and still be able to make each time great. someone who I can have a fight with no matter how big or how small but still knows I love them and I don't really mean what I say. someone who understands i don't always think what I say through but still loves me anyway. I'm honestly not a bad guy. sure i'm not the best looking or the most athletic..... I wish I was, because that seems to be the only guy girls like... the only things about me girls ever seem to like is that i'm caring, loving, helpful, someone they can count on.. but the one thing that apparently matters most that i lack is physical stuff like looks.... it kills me because I know for that reason i'll never be the first choice nor second nor third.... it'll be like when you are in gym or playing sports with your friends and your waiting for someone to pick you but you never actually end up getting picked your always forced to go on one team because you were the last person.

slowly each day I just give up and accept that ill never be hers...

Those who i once cared for or tried to show i cared pick me dry and leave nothing but my bare skeleton.

Losing yourself in music is one hell of i ride. especially when you realize the song that your listening to is taking about brunt toast... but by the way the singer is singing its so beautiful...

I look at her and freeze hoping not to be seen. shes so pretty and the thought of her makes my heart melt.

Her personality and the way she presents herself through text (noun not verb) shes amazing, the kind of girl that would make you wait a life time until she was "ready" to lend you her naked body after you've shown her she can trust you with her naked soul.