Honestly I want to cry right now. Yes it's because I'm sad but also because I'm beyond happy. I'm sad because I don't know if I'll ever have a chance with you, but at the same time I'm happy that I even have had the opertunity to know someone as amazing and unfinished as you. I look into your eyes and I melt and when you touch me I freeze like a iceberg. You've told me before you don't think anyone could love you the way I said I did. God I wish I could prove you wrong I wish you'd give me the chance to love you. I know for a fact you'd never regret it. You've said before you'd rather them forget about you rather than you froget about them, but even if you wanted me to forget you I never could... I could never foret the way your eyes shined even from the light of your dinning room, I wouldn't be Abel to forget the way your nose scrunched up when you'd smile. I could never forget the way my hand would fit on your side almost like it was ment to be there. When I'm with

you this weird feeling is always in my stomach and I never want to get rid of it. 

An unfinished book.

 Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed. 

She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to. 

She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three. 

Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap. 

Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.

You say: I dated her a while back. 

You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.

You say: She was younger than me. 

You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.

You say: It’s nothing now.

You don’t say: But it was everything then. 

Should i listen to my heart and try to make myself noticed by her.... or do i just listen to my head when it says i don't have a chance with her.

"Her"

The thought of her has kept me up. thinking about how gorgeous she is and how goofy her personality is. how shes been hurt in the past and how far she has come. i cant promise her that everything will be okay but i can promise her that she will never have to face it alone. only if she knew who I was...... i'd do my best to make her happy and prove to her not all guys are the same.

You only know your high when you've felt low.

All Of You

All the things you do.

The way you make me feel

The way you make me smile 

The butterflies you give me 

The way you make my heart beat

You give me a rhythm 

You make me feel right in every way

All I think about, is you 

You make my life wonderful 

You fill it with colors 

You fill it with joy 

I think I’m quite bonkers for you

Yea it’s true

Oh what can I do 

All I want is to be with you.

"Dream Day"

My "dream day" with a girl that I like would have to be a nice cold windy winter day --at either of our houses living room bedroom with her parents, siblings, alone... it honestly don't matter just as long as i'm with her-- cuddling with hot tea, coffee, chocolate watching the original star wars or Disney movies.

Blog #2

So today I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing and playing the laugh of the joker. without looking at the contact ID or even opening my eyes, I rummage for my phone and quickly answer and place the phone to my ear, answering with a grunt i quickly realize the person on the other line sniffling... like she was crying or woke up ill. I quickly sat up and asked if they were okay. not knowing what the reason for sniffling was for she responds with a raspy and congested voice as if she was crying for hours before. all I could make out was "please" and a few words later "help". we talking things out and I was successful helping her. but when the phone call was over I realize what an asshole us guys can be, and how this makes other guys seem. Don't get me wrong i know guys are rude, neglectful to be honest the list is never-ending... but the thing i hate most is when people just assume that all guys are like that... sure everyone has there days where one word turns you but honestly not all guys will be like that. the girl on the phone was telling me how her boyfriend was being a ass and all these other fun words... she was telling me how he was on his phone half of the time when they were supposed to be having their cuddle day listening as the rain pounds on the roof and watching as the rain races each other down the windowsill. I thought to myself... if that was me I would take advantage of that moment.. not many people get the chance at stuff like that.. cuddling when it rains. often I think well wish I had someone to cuddle with. I want someone to kiss in the rain someone who wont make fun of me for liking movies like the notebook or someone to marathon doctor who with even thought we've seen it an endless amount of times. someone to look at and blush when she looks back. someone who even after seeing each other and hanging out with each other a million times, the sight of her still gives me butterflies. someone who I can love, argue with, trust, talk to, care for, and spend endless hours with each other during the summer and still be able to make each time great. someone who I can have a fight with no matter how big or how small but still knows I love them and I don't really mean what I say. someone who understands i don't always think what I say through but still loves me anyway. I'm honestly not a bad guy. sure i'm not the best looking or the most athletic..... I wish I was, because that seems to be the only guy girls like... the only things about me girls ever seem to like is that i'm caring, loving, helpful, someone they can count on.. but the one thing that apparently matters most that i lack is physical stuff like looks.... it kills me because I know for that reason i'll never be the first choice nor second nor third.... it'll be like when you are in gym or playing sports with your friends and your waiting for someone to pick you but you never actually end up getting picked your always forced to go on one team because you were the last person.

slowly each day I just give up and accept that ill never be hers...

Those who i once cared for or tried to show i cared pick me dry and leave nothing but my bare skeleton.

Losing yourself in music is one hell of i ride. especially when you realize the song that your listening to is taking about brunt toast... but by the way the singer is singing its so beautiful...

I look at her and freeze hoping not to be seen. shes so pretty and the thought of her makes my heart melt.

Her personality and the way she presents herself through text (noun not verb) shes amazing, the kind of girl that would make you wait a life time until she was "ready" to lend you her naked body after you've shown her she can trust you with her naked soul.

Handle With Care

I promise you'll always be safe with me.

This is a perfect night to me
Just you & I snugglin' in front of the TV
Just hanging out with our PJs on
Watching "Law & Order: SVU" all night long
Do you feel it beating?
Do you hear what it's saying to you?
'Cause mine is fleeting
and I think I'm falling
Oh Oh Oh 
This could be L-O-V-E
Oh Oh Oh 
This is what I dreamed it would be
You got my heart on a leash
and I just cannot speak
I won't go anywhere 
just handle with care
My heart
Please don't break it
No, please don't break it
There's no place I'd rather be
than to be with you underneath these sheets
Oh, to feel like this
No it can't be wrong
No it can't be wrong
There's no place I'd rather be
than to be with you right in front of me
With our lips locked
Our eyes closed shut
and no one else but us

Blog #1

AM I A BLOGGER YET?! just kidding..

i'm fairly new to this... but then again tumbr is considered a blog as well so.... hmmm.
anyway lets not get to technical here as its my first day...

i  honestly don't know what to say but ill just talk about the "fantastic" day i had....
it was pouring rain after school today and i was waiting for a ride home, 30 minutes went buy and i thought to myself i'm drenched maybe i should call and see if anyone is coming for me.... of course my mother say "i text you telling you your going to have to walk home!" obviously i didn't get that text... so i started to walk home.. about a 6 mile walk... halfway home i'm shivering with no sign of the rain easing, all of a sudden "shove" a man might as well have rammed me from behind. he doesn't stop to say i'm sorry or excuse me but chooses to insult me and lower my confidence even more than it is already...  his choice of words were "watch where your going fat-ass" now this is annoying on so many levels. first i already know i'm fat you don't have to tell me, and second hes the one who shoved me... why do people feel the need to belittle others so much now a days....

"Your crazy and i'm out of my mind."

I don't know why i'm so surprised that this was the outcome..... the same ending time after time. it makes me sick, like ridding the loopiest roller coaster over and over with no end in sight.

Bonkers For You

All the things you do.
The way you make me feel
The way you make me smile
The butterflies you give me
The way you make my heart beat
You give me a rhythm
You make me feel right in every way
All I think about, is you
You make my life wonderful
You fill it with colors
You fill it with joy
I think I’m quite bonkers for you
Yea it’s true
Oh what can I do
All I want is to be with you.

You Have Me

hand in handdown a path unknown,please dont let goim not ready to be alone.linger behind me or let me follow,but right next to youmakes it seem true.theres something about this paththat makes me not want to leave.if we are still lost leave it be. 
you have me.

My Perfect Sentence...

You.You are my complete sentence.The subject,You are my purpose and my necessity.The predicate,Your actions commandeered my heart.The clause,You are the perfect addition to my life.And I,I am your phrase.I cannot stand alone as a sentence,But with you,We form the most perfect and wonderful string of words.

Foreordination

Don’t date a girl just because everyone else in the room can’t take their eyes off her, or how that black dress hugs her curves perfectly. Date a girl who you think about while waiting for the subway. Who makes you want your words to sound like some pretentious asshole who sits at Starbucks all day with a laptop wrote them. Date a girl who makes you think of stargazing in the summer and hot drinks in the winter. Date a girl who makes certain moments of your life unforgettable. Don’t date a girl who if after two weeks she “won’t give it up” to you. Don’t date a girl who if after 6 months won’t give it up. Date a girl who you will wait till the ends of the earth ‘til she’s ready, a girl who you will gladly light the candles for. Date a girl who you will do anything to get that smile that melts your heart. Don’t date a girl who you’re dependent on. Date a girl who makes you more dependent on yourself to be better.